More Blessed

The ding from my phone forced my eyes to open. The incoming message announced that my job assignment that morning had been cancelled. Good, I mumbled as I turned on the bed, ready to pull the covers back over my head and drift off for as long as I could get away with.

 

For weeks, I had been battling feelings of sadness and utter lethargy. A recent visit to my country of origin had reopened the deep wound left by my mom’s passing the year before. Even though the loss of the assignment meant a loss in income, I’d welcomed the chance to stay in bed to try to avoid the pain.

 

But then I remembered the other message, the one I’d received the day before, and I groaned. It was an invitation to all church members to gather this morning to pray for our senior pastor’s premature baby. Little Adrianna had been born almost 3 months early, and – at 1.5 lbs. – the doctors were amazed she hadn’t been lost right after birth. She needed all the prayer she could get so I couldn’t justify the overwhelming temptation to stay home instead.

 

I rolled out of bed, got ready and drove to church feeling as if a heavy, dark cloud hovered around my head. I didn’t think I’d be able to offer much during the prayer meeting but knew I had to show up – at least. I had lost a baby myself and couldn’t’ fathom seeing my pastor and his wife go throw the same agony I had experienced all those years ago.

 

The meeting had already started when I walked into the church building. I was glad I didn’t have to greet anyone and field their caring how-do-you-dos. Looking at the beloved faces of fellow church members and hearing their earnest prayers for our pastor’s child did little to dissipate the darkness that hung all around me and the burning ache in my chest. Unable to match their passionate pleas, I sat down and silently agreed with them. That was all I could give.

 

People began to read portions of Scripture aloud and to sing song of praise to a God of miracles and compassion. My plan going in had been to stay only for a short while, so I could go back home and to my bed as soon as possible. But as I began to join in prayer and song, time and the all-consuming grief that had tormented me for weeks began to fade away, being replaced by a heartfelt need to intercede for that precious baby’s life and wellbeing.

 

Next thing I knew, the meeting was over. Two and a half hours had passed since I had stepped into the building. I couldn’t believe it! But the greatest surprise was realizing that the pain in my heart and the heaviness I’d carried were gone and that a deep sense of peace and comfort had taken their place.

 

I had attended the meeting intending to pray for a miracle in my pastor’s baby and I was given one in return. It reminded of the verse in Acts 20:35, where the Apostle Paul quotes the Lord Jesus saying that it is more blessed to give than to receive. How true those words had proven to be in my case.

 

A month after her birth, Baby Adrianna is making strides in her growth and recovery. Our church family rejoices, knowing our prayers for her are being answered. To me, the miracle of life emerging before our very eyes is significantly special. It reminds me of the power and goodness of God to those who are willing to give of themselves, however little, to see a positive change in people’s lives, unaware that theirs will be changed in the process as well. 

Like mine had been on that blessed morning.

Distractions

A good friend once told me that if the devil doesn’t get you with sin, he’ll get you distracted.

Her words played back in my mind as I read Hebrews 12:1b which says, Let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.

This is a well-known passage; however, I had never noticed the first part that calls us to lay aside “every weight”. How these words spoke to my heart at that moment!

For years, I had struggled with a relation that used to drag me down.  Because I cared deeply, my efforts to "rescue" this person and our relationship consumed a great deal of my energy and attention.  The pain at my failed attempts was so deep, the weight of this burden so heavy, there were times I felt like I couldn’t go on.

Have you ever felt like that?

That passage in Hebrews helped me understand that the very unhealthy role I had assumed on my own pulled me down like a weight tied around my neck. I was able to see the hand of the enemy in this situation and how he’d used it to hinder my walk with Christ. How could I serve the Lord and seek to fulfill His plans for me when so much of my emotional energy and focus laid elsewhere. 

Though it felt as if I was failing my loved one and giving up on our relationship, I knew I needed to let go. I made a conscious decision to put this life – so precious and dear to me – and any future relationship between us in God’s hands, trusting He'd be more than able to care for my dear one. I was done carrying such heavy a burden; done getting distracted. I had a race to run!

How about you, dear friend?  How does Satan distract you? How does he keep you away from God’s path and His amazing plan for your life?  Does he ensnare you with greed, jealousy, or addiction? Does he consume you with fear, shame, or regret?  Or does he overwhelm you with a toxic relationship you can never fix?

As much as I hate to admit it, the devil is good at what he does.  He knows exactly how to get us distracted. But God is able to help us get back on the right track.

May He open our eyes to recognize evil traps and give us the grace to avert them so that we may be free and able to effectively run the race of life He has set before us, without any ensnares or distractions.

An Attitude of Gratitude

The end of the year can elicit mixed emotions in us. As we reflect in the good, the bad, and the ugly the past twelve months brought about, our natural tendency is to focus on one of those aspects more than the other – depending largely on our personality type or on how good the good was or how ugly the bad.

So how about making a conscious decision to end this year and begin the upcoming one focused on God’s goodness rather than bad memories or painful experiences? Circumstances may easily change from one day to the other, and such knowledge can produce in us an attitude of fear or pessimism. However, an attitude of gratitude can transform our outlook, mood, and mindset. What better way to start the new year?

This time, let us choose to remember that God’s love and faithfulness are not altered by life’s events and that –  no matter what it may bring –  we can always trust, rely on, and find comfort in the One who never changes (Hebrews 13:8). Who wouldn’t be thankful for that?

I pray next year will be blessed, characterized by and attitude of gratitude in us.

Happy New Year,

Ana

P.S. Check out my latest video on my Facebook page! 

Fruitful or Productive?

Call me crazy, obsessive-compulsive or anal, but I’m the type of person whose day’s highlight consists of crossing out items in her to-do list.

I just loooove getting things done.  It is a mandatory item in my morning prayers, “Lord, bless the work of my hands, pleeeease!” (Which basically means, “Let me get as much done as I possibly can.)  At night, I lull myself to sleep – not counting sheep or my blessings – but going over my day, recounting the tasks I was able to accomplish.  If said recount is to my liking, I sigh with delight and merrily drift into the land of dreams about productivity.

There’s so much good I’d like to do for God!  Yet my best-laid plans and intentions seem always thwarted by time constrains and limited physical strength.  Oh, so wimpy of me and so frustrating!

“Lord, I just want to give you glory!”  I cry out, disappointed by what I perceive as a poor performance, deeply saddened by my limitations.

But then, one happy day, I run across this verse and realize my confusion:

John 15:5 and 8, I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples.

And I wonder, when did I begin to equate “fruit bearing” with “productivity”? When did I start thinking that the amount of glory I bring God would hinge on the amount of check marks on a list of accomplished tasks?

The more I think about this verse, the more I realize that in order to bear fruit (and thus give God glory), I must concern myself less with my “doing” and more with my “abiding” in Jesus. How else could I ever display a Christ-like character worthy of one of His disciples?  My main “tasks” should be to love Him, abide in Him, and let Him lead me – even when planning my beloved to-do list.

So I guess I need to start praying for more of Jesus in my daily life, more of His glory… and maybe – just for old-time’s sake – His blessing on my list of chores?

Waiting

The day had been long, hard, and disappointing.  I sat on the stiff chair at the airport gate longing for my flight to be called so that I could go home and sleep it all off. 

I glanced at my watch.  A two-hour lag awaited me.  My muscles cramped with fatigue, and my mind ached with discouragement.  I had come to California to take a certification exam for my work.  I had studied so hard and so long for this test, yet my nerves betrayed me, and I hadn’t done as well as I had hoped.  The thought of having to wait was almost unbearable – but what choice did I have but to wait?

Forcing my thougths off my discomfort, I began to read a book I had just purchased at a gift shop.  It felt good to read for pleasure – something I hadn’t done in months, while preparing for my exam.

Finally, our flight was called and one-by-one weary passengers formed a line.  I made my way towards a pretty lady who stood at the counter.  “I’m flying on stand-by,” I told her, expecting her to issue a boarding pass for me.

“I’m so sorry,” she responded, “but the flight is very full.  Looks like you’re going to have to wait for the next flight.  It leaves tomorrow, at 6:00 a.m. But I’ll let you know once I know for sure.”

My ears began to ring.  This couldn’t be happening.  Oh, Lord, say it isn’t so!

I’ll give you grace.

Oh, gosh, that’s not what I wanted to hear.  So I stood by the counter, hoping and waiting, like a hungry puppy near her master’s table.  But when the lady at the counter turned to look at me, shaking her pretty head with compassion, I knew I was toast.

I cried and I pouted and felt sorry for myself.  Then I took comfort in the words I had heard: I’ll give you grace.

Finding a seat at the airport, as hidden from view as possible, I positioned my suitcase on the seat next to it and used it as a pillow.  I read for a while and then slept like a baby (that is, I woke up every hour hungry, wailing and wanting my mommy.) Eventually, my alarm went off, and I walked back to my gate.

This time I received a boarding pass right away and made it home with no delays.  Oh, how good it felt to put my head on my very own pillow instead of the hard suitcase when I got home!

And as I made my happy way onto dreamland, I thought about all of my friends whose hopes and prayers have received a similar answer to the one I’d gotten the evening before: Not today, perhaps next time.

My heart was filled with such compassion for them.  These are friends who are sick, unemployed or going through difficulties.  The wait is long and hard and painful.  Once again, I took comfort in the words I heard at the airport, the same words God has faithfully spoken to my friends:  I’ll give you grace.

I pray that these same words will fill these dear ones with hope and renewed strength.  Just like Isaiah prophesied: [God] gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. (40:29-31, NIV)

The Promise of Hope

What’s your favorite color?

Mine is green. Green conveys peace, newness and brightness. Green, for me, is the color of hope.

A few months ago, city workers planted several trees behind my backyard fence. My husband and I went for an early walk to take a look at these small trees. We could picture them one day looking tall and lush, their full branches undulating with the wind’s melody, little birds chirping cheerfully as they hopped from branch to branch.

When fully grown, these trees - combined with the pink-and-gold-colored skies that appear at dawn and dusk here in Arizona - will make the view from our backyard simply magnificent. We slowly made our way back home, breathing deeply and holding hands tightly.

A few days later, I made a sad discovery. While one of the young trees seemed to be thriving, the other two looked dead. “Guess the poor little guys couldn’t take the shock of being replanted,” I told my hubby dejectedly. Such a shame.

A sense of dejà vu enveloped me - something I had experienced years before...

***************

That year’s winter had been harsh. Spring came, yet our backyard tree – a once healthy mesquite – looked bare and brittle.

My children loved that tree. They played happily under its shade and enjoyed climbing its branches. My husband had planted it shortly after we’d moved into our home. Would we have to pull it out to plant another one in its stead? How long would it take for the new tree to grow as big as ours? I was devastated.

I looked out the window and sighed, wishing our beloved mesquite would come back to life somehow. That night I had a dream. In it, I saw our tree. It was full and healthy and radiantly verdant. I woke up feeling happy, hopeful and light.

Imagine my excitement, a few days later, when I noticed tiny green buds forming on the dead-looking branches. Our tree was coming back to life! Then I heard God’s voice whisper softly in my ear, “I make all things new.” And I believed.

***************

Years have gone by and my children no longer play under the shade of our tree. Life has been good, still, I‘ve faced my share of trouble, heartache and disappointment.

Before discovering the withering trees behind our backyard fence, my heart had already been heavy with sadness. Concern for our finances, health issues and some of our children’s choices made me feel as dry as those young trees.

Had God forgotten about me? Had all the prayers I’d said throughout the years been for nothing?

With tired steps, I walked into the yard and looked across the fence – searching for something, can’t remember what – when I encountered the same scene I had encountered all those years ago. Tiny green buds were growing on the threes’ fragile branches: A promise of hope.

I remembered the dream I had once had, and I figured, if God can take care of these trees, He sure can take care of me and my loved ones -- no matter the circumstances.

A soft breeze tousled my hair. I breathed it in, as I heard God’s voice whispering again: “I make all things new.”

Amen, Lord, You do. And I believe.

The Key to Joy

“Today is Gratitude Day,” the announcer said jovially over the radio. At that particular moment I was busily applying mascara, enveloped in the morning rush before leaving home for work. Still, his words managed to grab my attention.

You see, this was January, not November, the month in which we celebrate Thanksgiving Day in the USA. So, what was this guy talking about?

“This is the day we remember to say ‘thank you’ to someone who’s done something nice or good for us,” he said, before moving on to the next segment in his show.

But his words stayed with me, and during my commute I reflected on the subject of gratitude.

Gratitude is like a window, that once opened, lets you see beyond your living room walls, revealing a different view and a new perspective.

Interestingly, a few years earlier I'd spoken about the subject of joy at a women’s Bible study. In order to prepare for my teaching, I read about and researched this subject extensively. During my teaching, I mentioned several sources of joy as well as several attitudes and situations that can hinder us from experiencing this fruit of the Spirit.

I felt so good and satisfied when I heard the audience applause after my delivery!

The next morning, while reading a devotional book by Donna Partow, I discovered that despite all of my research and apparent thoroughness, I had failed to mention a key ingredient during my teaching.

“If you want to experience joy,” Donna wrote in her book, “be grateful.”

She got it, and it was so simple!

I continued to drive and to think about the radio host’s announcement earlier that morning, and about what he’d said about taking the time to say thank you.

Whom did I need to thank? The list was long. How often did I stop to say thank you? This list was very short.

I figured I could start by thanking God for allowing me to hear the announcer's words that day – a much-needed reminder for sure. Then I could move on to elaborating a mental list of all the people to whom I should express my gratitude.

As I approached the end of my commute, I paused to thank God for the joy thanksgiving brings.

And just like that, my heart began to bubble with delight.